Toefl TWE 165

165 You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

When we have free time, we can do something to develop ourselves. Moreover, people do not things that make their community improved because they are regarded as having no relation to themselves. However, because there are strong relationships between a person and the one’s community, it is so important to contribute the community. If provide my time to advance my community, I want to clean the street in my town. This is because there are three reasons: meeting members in the community, making the town more comfortable, and helping the local economy to progress.
First of all, cleaning the street provides more chances to meet my neighbors and people in my town. The increased chances to meet each other also help crime rate decreasing since people in the town trust each other and they easily can notice strangers who might do possibly crime.
Second, making the town more comfortable will be also helped by cleaning the street. In my personal experience, I had wiped out heavy snow on the road from my home to a bus-stop. After this, my neighbors as well as I were able to go to my working site. If we just waited for snow to melt down, we must be fired by our bosses.
At last, cleaning the street helps the local economy because the management budget of the town could be saved. Assume that all of us do clean our street volutarily. Then, it leads the budget to clean the street to save. We can easily find examples like this to save the budget.
All in all, I will clean my street if I give my hour to my town. This is because I believe that it is the only way to using my time worthly.

(295 words)
확실히 애드립으로 쓰려고 하니 글빨이 딸린다. 이 글의 2배 정도 되는 길이로 써야 좋은 점수가 기대되는데 -_-;